Contact me !

If you need to contact me , please write to me to this email ID : manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com. I will be happy to help.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

My advice for someone starting their first IVF cycle


Schematic representation of IVF process

1)     Learn !


If you have decided to embark on an IVF cycle, the first thing you must do is to learn about the entire process scientifically. I agree that this may be challenging if you are an arts or commerce graduate,  but please do not underestimate your abilities-  the learning process can be be very interesting ! It’s always a good idea to exercise your grey matter  !  Learning doesn’t mean that you have to read complicated scientific papers – just start with the basics. All our reproductive organs have a name and a particular function. Educate yourself about,  your ovaries, follicles, egg, fallopian tubes, uterus, endometrium, cervix, sperm, embryo etc., and their functions. If you have understood this, half your job is done !  There are many audiovisual resources to help you learn at www.ivfndiacom. Next, you need to learn about the medicines used in the IVF process. Learn their names use the search box on www.drmalpani.com and google to findout more about what they do and their side-effects. . When you understand this basic information , you will start to understand what your doctor is talking about. Many doctors do not have the time or patience to teach the patient all these basic information. The more you know about the IVF process the better you feel in the clinic. Otherwise, when you are poked and prodded , you will end up with a feeling as if you are treated as an experimental animal! The more you feel alienated from what is happening in your body, the more you will hate the process. It is not only embarrassing to lie down with your legs high up in the stirrups ,  when your private parts are being manipulated, it is also scary! The more you know; the better you feel. Knowing will also boost your confidence and you will be able to ask intelligent questions to your doctors and nurses.

In short, try to cultivate a passion for knowing things. You are undergoing a very important process in your life , which is not only costly but also emotionally very demanding. Educating yourself about the process will prepare you to face the twists and turn inherent in an IVF cycle. This will save you from lot of heartaches!

2)     Select a competent IVF clinic


When I say competent clinic, it should have skilled, experienced physicians; compassionate staff; and full-time embryologists. From my experience, I have learned that an empathetic doctor is as important as a skilled physician. You should have a doctor who can hear your concerns and answer your questions with patience. He should have the minimal courtesy of saying or writing a few comforting word if your IVF cycle fails. Emotionally, you depend on your doctor for support during the process. When the process fails, naturally you turn to him/her . I heard from one of my friends that when she informs her doctor about the negative outcome of the cycle, she gets back a mail which asks her to plan for the next IVF cycle. Only when people undergo an IVF cycle will they understand how devastating such an experience can be! If you do not get any reply at all, then it is evenworse . So, find a humane, skilled doctor who owns a competent clinic.

How will I know which clinic is competent enough and which doctor is good? The only way to find this is to use multiple sources of information. The usual way people decide which clinic to select is through the information they get from their neighbours, relatives and friends. Actually, this method is easy and convenient. There will be people who have attended a particular clinic , and if they are successful in their endeavour and have a baby, they will recommend that particular clinic. Internet search is another good option. Most clinics have websites today Many websites are very colourful (with beautiful baby pictures) and attractive; with many positive patient stories. But, neither method is fool-proof. So how will you decide which clinic is best? Here are a few points to ponder:

1)     How experienced are they in the field of ART?
2)     Do they have a full-time embryologist?
3)     How easy is it to approach the doctor?
4)     Do they answer all your questions sincerely and promptly?
5)     Are the staff warm and compassionate?
6)     Are all the facilities (from routine hormone tests to egg collection facility) situated within the clinic? (You obviously do not want to run here and there for every procedure!)
7)     How transparent are they in their functioning?
8)     If they own a website, look for how informative it is , rather than how attractive it is!

This is the basic information you should look for. But, the final proof is in the pudding! Only when you enter a particular clinic and work with them you will be able to judge for yourself. The field of ART is becoming very competitive and this means most clinics are striving hard to give their best in order to survive the competition. This is compelling them to be more patient-centered and patient-friendly, which is very good news for IVF patients!

3)     How will I identify a good IVF doctor?


1)     A good IVF doctor will not promise you a baby but will promise you quality service.
2)     A good IVF doctor should not be like God-always invisible! You must be able to meet him in his clinic, without any mediators in-between!
3)     A good IVF doctor is friendly and easily approachable.
4)     A good IVF doctor knows what he is speaking about. He is knowledgeable!
5)     A good IVF doctor discusses the various treatment options with you before taking any decision. He must treat you as an intelligent partner in the treatment process, rather than an ignorant patient.
6)     A good IVF doctor will be honest and transparent in his approach.
7)     A good IVF doctor will be patient enough to answer all your questions.
8)     A good IVF doctor will not raise your hopes too high , but at the same times builds your confidence!
9)     A good IVF doctor functions keeping your best interest in mind rather than his monetary benefits. He will not order unnecessary tests and insist that you use costly medicines when cheaper alternatives are available
10)  A good IVF doctor will not talk using medical jargon. He should use  simple language so that you can follow what he is talking about.
11)  A good IVF doctor remembers you as a person.
12)  Last but not the least-he should be empathetic, humane and respectful.

4)     Treat the hospital staff with compassion


Always remember this golden rule ‘Treat others as you wanted to be treated’. When you enter the clinic, the first faces you see are the staff. They are the connecting bridge between you and the doctors. Actually, they are the people who take care of your personal needs in the clinic (from providing you with proper medicines, injections etc., to offering a few comforting words and positive stories when you are down!). They work long hours and their work is more hectic than that of a physician. When you enter the clinic , never carry all your anger  pain and frustration with you. Learn to smile and be caring and compassionate. Do not complain about petty things. Even though you pay for the service you get, you can’t make everyone smile and behave compassionately just for money. If you find a chance, get to know them a bit and behave in a way that they treat you with love and affection. Most importantly, learn to say ‘THANK YOU’. I am not asking you to put up an act. Of course, these things should come from within you. When you are friendly with them and if they get comfortable with you, the service you receive from them will be far better. This makes your stay in the clinic pleasant - for you and also for them!

5)     It is OK to be inquisitive!


When your treatment starts, be inquisitive! There are no stupid questions except the ones you did not ask. Asking appropriate questions about your treatment and medicines will help you to acquire knowledge and will also keep the doctors and hospital staff on their toes ( which is good for them as well !) . The more the questions you ask about your treatment, the more careful they will be about what medicines they are giving you and how they treat you . Never take any medicine without asking : what it is, why it is used and what are its side-effects. Remember, there are lots of patients and your physician sees many everyday. There are chances that the staff may confuse your details with another patient. So The involved you are in your treatment, the more protection you get from unintentional errors. The more knowledge you gain, the more questions you will able to ask, and the more attention you will get!

6)     Insist on seeing your embryos


Seeing your embryos created in an IVF lab is a wonderful experience. It makes the whole process appear real and worthwhile! Every good clinic will be ready to show you the embryos. Ask the embryologist to explain the different stages of an embryo and how they look at each stage. You can also learn a lot about embryo development and how they are graded. Looking at your embryos and understanding their quality will help you to learn a lot , and is the best marker for how competent your clinic is in creating good quality embryos!

7)     Demand your medical records


I did not say you should ask for your medical records or request your medical records – demand them! Your medical records are your property. They carry all the vital information about your IVF cycle. If you decide to switch clinics, the information you carry with you in the form of medical record will save you from repeating many expensive tests. It will also give your present doctor a clue about the further course of action. A good clinic, acting in a transparent manner will provide you with your medical record without asking for it. If they do not provide this, then you have a legal right to demand a copy !  If you make this request in writing, no clinic will dare to ignore this.

8)     Be cautiously optimistic


You have crossed the various stages of treatment involved in an IVF cycle and your embryos have been transferred into your uterus – what next ? What should you expect?

The 2ww is the most draining phase of an IVF cycle. You will be excited and at the same time fearful of the outcome. The people around you will start treating you like a pregnant woman. You will be happy and at the same time you will be unsure how to react? You know that you can’t be pregnant until the embryos attach and start producing HCG. When you tell them the fact they will look at you very seriously and say ‘BE POSITIVE’. You wonder within yourself what it means to be positive - ‘Should I decide that I am pregnant?’ Your husband wants you to be careful all the time and will not allow you to do anything which will make you feel normal. Your doctor will say bed rest doesn’t matter. Your friends will ask you to eat pineapple core to make the embryo stick! Your mother-in-law will ask you to avoid all the heat generating foods (whatever it is!). Your mother will be praying to all the Gods in the world and she will be insisting that you pray too! You will for sure be confused. You do not know how to calm their excitement. Even the simple question, ‘How are you ? ’ triggers frustration within you. People do not realise that they are instilling lots of fears in you and putting all the responsibility on you by their kind actions. They want you not to think about the embryo transfer and be stress free, but each and every action of theirs will remind you of your prescious embryos within you. You worry what will happen to their expectations if the cycle doesn’t work and how you will be able to face them if the result is negative . You will be also wondering about your embryos-what are they doing inside me? You suddenly become aware of your body all the time, you will be sensitive enough to note even the minute changes that happen. Every pain, every cramp will make you wonder whether it is a pregnancy symptom. When you read about early pregnancy symptoms on the internet , you feel that you have all of them - or you will get all of them the next day itself (your mind is so strong, it has enormous control on your body!). It is hard, very hard!

The only wise advise I can give you is – Be cautiously optimistic! IVF is a process which has its own limitations. There is only 40% chance of success if you are below 35 years. So, theoretically the chance of failure is more than the chance of success! Not every embryo transfer will result in a pregnancy. But there are also woman who succeed in their first attempt! Try to have a realistic expectation. Even before starting a cycle prepare yourself to undergo at least 3 IVF cycles. This is the average number of cycle most women will undergo before finding success. It is very natural to expect things to turn out for the best but in an IVF cycle there can be many unexpected twist and turns that could stop things from happening as you expected. There is a lot of uncertainty involved because we are dealing with a biological system. If you are fully aware of this, you will learn to expect the best and prepare yourself for the worst! Being blindly positive will not help you and for sure will not help your embryo to stick. Being too positive might break you into pieces if the cycle fails and will cause you to carry a grudge about everyone and everything involved in your IVF cycle. If you want to protect your sanity; learn to expect the unexpected!

9)     Be kind to your physician


A good physician has your best interest in his mind and works for you. A doctor is a human too and he expects proper recognition for the work he does. I do not know how many people take time to say thank you and appreciate a doctor’s work when the cycle succeeds. But the first person whom most people blame when an IVF cycle fails is their doctor! It is human nature to blame someone or something else for their failure. The blaming nature becomes worse when the person is naive about the IVF process. ‘My friend did her IVF cycle in another clinic, she is pregnant now. Since I did not get pregnant it should be the fault of the clinic’. This appears to be a logical argument when people do not understand the limitations of a biological process. The more ignorant they are, the more likely you are to carry grudge about your doctor for the failure. Remember, you selected the clinic and you are going through the entire process by choice . When you are not satisfied with the quality of service you receive, you should talk to the doctor then and there and solve the problem. A good doctor, like a good teacher, will address all your concerns and try to clear all your doubts , whether they are logical or not. If you do not clarify your doubts and carry them with you all the time, they will be magnified 1000 times if your cycle fails.Whether your doubt is logical or not depends on how knowledgeable you are about the IVF process.

Another reason to hate and blame a doctorwhen your cycle fails is the huge amount of money you have spent on the process. Today, a doctor-patient relationship is solely materialistic. The patient sees doctor as a businessman who is waiting to grab all his money. A doctor just sees a patient as his source of income. Trust is the main ingredient which is necessary for a good doctor-patient relationship and in today’s materialistic world , it is completely lacking! Only when you trust your doctor will you feel good while working with him, especially, when doing IVF. We must accept the fact thata doctor will charge for the knowledge he has , and for the services he provides. Does anyone of us work for free ? Will anyone of us compromise on our salary? It is not wise to see a doctoras a personwho works just for the money you provide.  Be kind to them and appreciate their work! Respect them as you would like to be respected. A doctor travels with you through your IVF journey. He will be happy when you succeed and when you fail to conceive , it is his failure too! Be kind to your doctor when the cycle fails. Do not allow money to play the spoil game. After all, your attitude will often determine whether a doctor works just for what he is paid , or whether he is ready to go the extra mile for you! A good relationship with your doctor will make you feel as if you are cared for in your mother’s home , and not like in your mother-in-law’s place ; )


10)  My IVF cycle failed - should I change the IVF clinic?


If you are comfortable in your present clinic; if you are satisfied with their service; if you trust your doctors and their expertise; then I would say it is not advisable to change a clinic after a single failed cycle. Your doctor needs time to study how your body reacts to the drug. He may design a better stimulation protocol the next time around ; or he may have a better idea which will improve your chances of success . Remember that your doctor has limited powers . Even if a cycle goes perfectly,  he has no control over what happens inside your body. So, be patient! There is no guarantee that you will end up getting pregnant in a new clinic. But, if you could find a clinic which boasts of a 60% success rate (like CCRM in USA) instead of a 40% success rate in your present clinic, then I would definitely give it a second thought.

11)  When should I give up the IVF process?


If you are someone who is blessed with all that you need for doing an IVF cycle, never give up! That would be my personal advice. But there are many factors which could decide how many IVF cycles you can go through before you taste success , or before you decide to quit. Financial status, your ability to bear stress, your relationship with your partner etc., are some of the most important factors which will determine how many IVF cycles you can go through. I would say stop the process when both your heart and mind says enough! I sincerely wish every woman going through this process finds success as quickly as possible, so that they never have to think about quitting. It is wise to have a back-up plan so that you know what to do when IVF doesn’t work!


59 comments:

  1. Dear Manju,
    I have been away some days (holidays) and, upon my return, I am very happy to read that you seem to be better. Your blog is excellent, it not only shares good information and advice but also a lot of kindness and positive energy ! I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday in view of a third IVF (transfer of frozen embryo), I hope my endometrium will not be too thin. And yes, keep in touch ! I will write you more in an email when I have more time. Take care Manju, and thanks again for your blog. Caroline

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Caroline,

    I was thinking about you yesterday! Very happy to hear from you : ) Thank you for all the kind words and wish you all the luck in the world! I will be thinking of you and I wish that you have the best endometrium so that your embies can snuggle in. Mail me.
    Love
    Manju

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Manju ,
      Words will do no justice to reflect my regard/respect for you.
      Fear fears the "Brave" and I see that you are one such strong brave hearts that Divinity has produced. Many situations in life comes unexplained by science or spiritualism leaving us with a simple choice of guiltlessly accepting it. In the rush of the hour, I had to post a comment here. Shall come back at leisure to write to you. May your charm & courage inspire a million & more.

      Delete
    2. I don't know whether I am worthy enough to accept your kind appreciation. I write this blog so that I feel better. If it helps people with their struggle I am truly blessed ! Thanks so much for the kindness !

      Delete
  3. Hi this is YK here, I have my 1 st IVF failed last week, bleeding 23 days after ET , lost 2 grade1 day 2 embryo. Feel very upset. Will build up my body and try again in Nov. Will attach with the same doc.

    ReplyDelete
  4. YK, I am happy that the above article helped you to decide what to do further? I am sorry that your IVF did not work out. Do not lose hope. Lots of good luck for your next cycle!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You article is really good for me but I also would like to say that always choose that clinic which have high success rate.

    intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi manju,
    Thank you so much for this wonderful blog. i just joined indusladies forum and got to see ur posts related to fertility struggles, which im facing since married. challenge continues till now, it has been 6 yrs now, we got married. infertility tests relationship with my husband too.. but i have learnt alot from these failures and decided to be a more patient. i have 4 failed IUI cycles to my acc and planning to go for IVF in feb. im from singapore and IVF costs alot, so also thinking abt doing it in my hometown chennai. have lost many things in this journey.. friends, career,social life, but still have hope to make it atleast this yr. my hearty wishes for all your plans and thanks once again for wonderful posts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Friend,
    I understand your pain. I sincerely wish that you find success soon in your endeavor. I wish you lots of good luck !
    (((HUGS)))
    I will be very happy if you could inform me when you succeed - and I am sure you will make it ! Never give up hope !
    Love
    Manju

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes manju,will definitely share the happy news soon. Thank you so much for your wishes :-). Hoping for best. you are always talking to me through your blog, it is so warm and feel better reading it anytime. definitely a great support.

      thanks dear,
      Jagadeeswari

      Delete
  8. Dear Manju;
    i am writing from Nigeria. I am 41 and married for 4 years and yet to conceive. I have had abortions in the past and presently my period has stopped. i had surgery in march 2012 to remove uterine fibroids. i never had any period except when i took alot of progesterone injections, the period came and thereafter stopped again.Presently i have period only when i take birth control pills. Please do you know anything that may be causing my problems? My doctor said that when he operated me, that my endometrium was somehow damaged.Please what could this mean? was it as a result of abortions i had in the past years? I will appreciate your reply

    ReplyDelete
  9. Have you ever checked your FSH and AMH values ? Absence of periods can indicate that you are no more ovulating. Since you are 41 it can also indicate an impending menopause. It is very hard to answer your questions with the information you have provided here.

    My suggestion is, please find an infertility specialist. Do a complete hormone profile. This will tell you about your ovarian reserve. Women of your age normally have very few eggs left and the egg quality will be poor too. You definitely need help to conceive considering your age and your history.

    Sorry, I couldn't be of much help !

    Manju

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Manju,

    Thanks for educating us through your blog.

    I am hoping to do IVF soon, however, I cannot stand injections.

    The doctor said he will use fine needle so it doesn't hurt. Should I trust him?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Friend,

    The needle will be very fine. Even an ant's bite will be painful than those needle pricks. Sometimes I don't even feel that they are piercing my skin : ) Do not worry ! If you are afraid then it appears to hurts more. We women are designed to bear labor pain, how could a small needle scare you ? : ) Lots of good luck !

    Manju

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear manju,
    Really I am so inspired by your Blog.......I have married 6 yrs ago but till now we don't have baby.
    My wife is so scared of injection :-) and with Love also i can't insist her do go for IVF. But internally I want to because Time is Precious for IVF. She is 36 yrs old and don't want to spoil more time.
    After reading your blog I got courage to plan for IVF.
    Satya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Satya,

      Thanks for writing to me ! I am happy that my blog helps you. Ask your wife to write to me : ) IVF is not physically that difficult. The emotional pain will be more but when couples support each other throughout, it becomes a lot easier. Please do not delay getting treatment. Have realistic expectations. Lots of good luck ! My mail ID is manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com.

      Manju

      Delete
    2. Thanks Manju for your reply. On 21st feb we made a visit to Dr. Deepa Dewan, Gurgaon and she also suggested us for IVF. So I have made up my mind to go for IVF. Do you have any knowledge about any Good IVF center in Gurgaon ? She already had a IVF at Gangaram Hospital, Delhi under supervision of Dr. Abha on DEC 2010 but no luck. I will give your email id to my wife.

      Satya

      Delete
    3. Sorry ! I really have no idea about IVF doctors in Gurgaon. Lots of good luck ! May you find success soon.

      Delete
  13. Fertility treatments have come up as a hope many couples. They have helped a lot number of people in bringing their bundle of joy in this world and attain motherhood. Though, it is said that not all fertility treatments are suitable for women who are trying to conceive. Treatments of fertility mainly depend on the cause, age, for how long one has been infertile and many other personal preferences.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Manju,
    Your blog just reflects a uniform feeling that women face when they are in this situation. I am planning to go for IVF at bourn hall clinic gurgaon, any idea about this centre.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shweta ! Bourn Hall Clinic in which place ?

      Delete
  15. I read some of your wonderful posts and am truly inspired. I am at the beginning of this journey having done my first iui this month. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Smita ! Good Luck ! Mail me if you need some guidance and info.

      Manju

      Delete
  16. hiii good information you have shared which is most useful to many of the up-coming mothers who are going to have a ivf process. i request all the women to take care of their IVF process and treatment by choosing best IVF doctor.

    http://kiranivfgenetic.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi.. Manju,

    it was really nice and encouraging to read ur blog.
    Even I am sailing in the same boat, have been married for 5 years, facing unexplained infertility. had undergone clomid cycles and 2 iui s , but no result till now. Planning to go for ivf , and really reluctant for the same because of physical and emotional pain. Have read the entire process of ivf , just want to know so many injections daily , and then process of ovum pick up , and then transfer of embroyo , must be very painful. Will all that affect my health , cause bloating or all such. Really very scared, but in tremendous emotional pain. can u plz help in getting answers to all such questions. Thanks..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear commenter,

      Thanks and lot of good luck for your journey! May all your dreams come true.

      Ofcourse going through IVF is scary. But it is not as difficult as you think. We women are very strong than we actually think. Pain during childbirth is the highest physical pain one can go through, why are you afraid about injections which causes pain no more than an ant bite? IVF is not physically painful at all. Every physical pain during the process is bearable. Emotional pain will be there but it also depends on how good you can tackle it. Learn a lot about the process, have realistic expectations, it helps. The most important advice I would give is, please detach yourself from the fruits of your action, do not obsess about your final destination - a baby! Try to do your best and leave the rest to God. Suffering happens when the fnal outcome is not the one what you expect it to be.

      How old are you? If you need any help understanding your IVF cycle please mail me. I will be happy to help.

      Manju

      Delete
  18. Hi,
    Iam ruby and iam planning to go for my first IVF cycle in jan . i was pretty optimistic about the chances of having a positive outcome till lately but the more that i search in the net the more results iam getting is of failed IVF which is making me pretty nervous.
    I have not disclosed to any of my family members that iam going through this process and i dont have anyone to talk to ..... feeling very nervous .... i told my husband that the changes of the succesful IVF is 0nly 35 % and he said that dont worry we will be in that 35 % :) ... pls do share some stories which are about successful IVF ... cause right now reading the negative outcome is making me very nervous. .

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Manju ,
    read the blog for the first time today, it did help me to understand what to expect out of the IVF treatment.
    Iam going for my ivf treatment in jan( and i hope it will be my last ) and iam pretty nervous about it . I was very optimistic about the treatment a few days back but the more i read about it on the net the less optimistic i have become . The only stories that i have read on the net is bout failed IVF where people are going for 3-4 cycle which is pretty depressing as i though that going for the IVF will be a sure shot victory . Do share some stories on the blog for people who have had a successful pregnancy with IVF .
    I have not disclosed that we are going for the IVF to any of my family members and so i dont have anybody to talk to:( .... hence sharing it with you ..... do give me hope and that everything will be fine in my first cycle only ... keeping fingers crossed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you are pursuing IVF. May the new year bring lots of happiness and may all your wishes come true.

      Ofcourse success stories gives strength but stories of failure will give you a very realistic expectation of IVF process. How old are you ? What is the reason for IVF ? This information will help me to give you a better understanding of your chance of success. 60% of women conceive within 3 IVF cycles. So please have realistic expectation, this will help you to reach your dream without much heartbreaks.

      You can find success stories by using google search. www. fertilitycommunity.com has a good thread which carries lots of IVF success stories. Hope this helps.

      Delete
  20. Dear Manju,
    I read ur blog on IVF. Really, its very nice to read.. I'm yamuna and preparing myself for 1st cycle of IVF. The thought itself making me very scary. I have already tried 3 yrs to get conceived.. even went for IUI.. but coz of tubular defect, its became impossible for me. This April only I'm to start the procedure. I'm really scared ab the success rate though I'm consulting one of the leading doctor at Chennai Dr. Samundi Sankari. Everyone says, success doesnt come in first attempt. I really don know if i can take it for further cycles also. It really gives me lots of stress and depression. pls share some positive stories for the same which can be a boost to me. As the days near, I'm in constant fear of being negative...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Yamuna,

      I understand your fear. But fear doesn't change the outcome of an IVF cycle. If the embryos are meant to implant, they will, irrespective of whether your are positive or negative about the outcome. All I can tell you is : 60% women conceive within 3 IVF cycles. You might find success in the first attempt or later. If you are young, have good ovarian reserve, if you are with a good clinic then your chance of success is around 50%, that means, you have equal chance of success as that of failure. Worrying about the unknown and getting depressed will only make the situation worse. Meeting success doesn't need preparation but facing a failure needs lots of preparation emotionally. Have realistic expectation of your chances, then it is easy to get over a failed cycle too.

      I sincerely wish that you find success in your first attempt. I wish you lots of good luck !

      If you would like to write to me : manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com

      Please let me know your age and your AMH value.

      Manju

      Delete
    2. Dear Manju,
      I'm so happy for ur encouraging words. I'm 31 yrs old and my AMH is 2.3ng / ml which was done before my hysteroscopy last month. They retrieved 4 eggs but only one embryo has developed. I had my embryo transfered done on this May 1st only and since then I'm in hospital only. I'm just filled with lots of anxiety. I tried to be relaxed but as the days near for my next period, I'm just worried. Pls pray for me.

      Thank u

      Delete
    3. Yamuna, lots of good luck ! I am surprised that they were able to retrieve only 4 eggs from you ! What is the dosage of FS H used ? What is the reason for IVF ?

      Please do write to me with details !

      Delete
    4. Ofcourse my prayers are with you !

      Delete
    5. Dear Manju,
      Its really devastating to say that my IVF didnt succeed. They actually tried something called mini IVF..thats y, less number of eggs.. And, one more culprit for my failure is increased TSH (probably with the intake of more antibodies, level would have gone higher)..so we have decided to drop the idea of IVF for the time being..
      Don't know what else to say. Cried enough.. May be my time has not come.. Hoping for the best..
      All the best for u, manju..

      Delete
    6. Dear Yamuna,

      ((((Hugs))))

      I know the pain of a failed IVF cycle. But time heals everything. The pain will get better. Do not lose hope, sooner or later all will be well.

      Yamuna, but I should tell you that your ovarian stimulation is not handled well. Why did you opt for mini IVF ? Is it due to financial constraints or did you have low antral follicle count ? Your AMH seems to be fine, you are young. Where did you do your IVF ? What is the reason for IVF ? Do you have the picture of embryo transferred to you ?

      Yamuna, I wish I could help you. But if you are not ready to come out and talk ....

      Please answer my questions ! In IVF good knowledge about the process and proper decisions at the right time helps a lot to find success. You are young so do not waste time by going to clinic which is not good enough.

      I sincerely wish you write to me with all the details.

      Hope you feel better soon. This too will pass !

      Lots of love,
      Manju

      Delete
    7. Dear Manju,
      Thanks for ur encouraging words. Yeah I know that my embryologist didnt do her part well. In fact, we were not aware of the what Mini IVF is.. Later we were told that since my ovarian reserve is very good without any external stimulant, thats y doctor advised us this protocol... Financial stuff was not at a constraint. Actually, I was told that due to HSG infection, my Fallopian tubes got thickened..and there was not any way of actually treating that.. After that I underwent hysteroscopy also.. Later only, we were suggested for this IVF Actually, we went to Dr. Samundi Shankari who is quite famous in this field for the past 20 yrs in Chennai..
      They has tried ICSI method for this.. I have this hypothyroidism.. and repeatedly i told the doctors.. They were so ignorant abt this.. May be, that might also one of the culprit.
      I dont have the photo of the embryo transferred..
      We are just waiting for the time to pass by.
      Lets c..

      Ok Manju, I'm really thankful that I got someone to hear my views and pain. It makes me feel light.

      Thank u once again.

      Delete
    8. How much is your TSH value ? Yamuna, take time to heal but next time please find a doctor who doesn't do experiments with you. Not everyone will be benefited with mini IVF.

      I wish you lots of good luck !

      Manju

      Delete
  21. me,in the same boat as many of you are. more than 40 years, 4 failed IUIs, second IVF positive but ectopic pregnancy and going for the third IVF. Really afraid because career is almost non-existing due to time and emotional resources dedicated for my efforts to ahve a baby of my own. Husband is sensitive too but supportive though not able to express himself, My family or husband's family not supporting. we have just two of us to share and discuss. conservative families and society around- no way to vent our feelings. Trying to gain strength from blogs like this and therefore thanks Manju and others for the discussions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ((((Hugs))))

      Good luck and thank you too ! Mail me, would be happy to share our struggles : manjupadmasekar@yahoo. com

      Delete
  22. Hi manju, just started. Bcp for my first ivf after 4 yrs of TTC. Well narrated writeup. Thanks a lot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of good luck ! Thank you ! I am happy that this writeup helps.

      Delete
  23. Your blog is very informational and well written. Thank you Manju!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Just had my first IVF .... waiting to do my blood test in five days.. i have a bit of a feeling like periods due very worried whats my results may be!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck! I completely understand your worry. Every woman undergoing IVF go through this phase. But remember, worrying is not going to help. Instead try to expect the best and prepare for the worst. What will you do if this IVF fails? If you have an answer for this, you will be able to cope better.

      Delete
  25. What would be the cost of IVF ?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for sharing this informational blog post with us. Today infertility becomes a common problem of almost about 10% of such couples whose age is between 15 to 40 years. Sometimes the main reason behind this problem is that when one of the two partners may reaches at the age of thirties then the power or ability to produce young one decrease automatically.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi!!!! Manju!!! i loved your blog very well articulated and informative and your words encouraged keep blogging:):):)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hello!! Manju decided to drop by after reading one of your forum posts in Warrior Forum. Great blog here and great purpose as well. If you keep it up, this blog will do very well. Take care! 

    ReplyDelete
  29. I think it’s wonderful that she is sharing her story regarding infertility and IVF. After having gone through it myself, I feel that it really is the most NOT talked about subject. There are so many women who struggle with it and it’s so helpful to feel like we aren’t alone during that time.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi Manju, Great blog! I am going for IVF in January and your words resonates what I feel and think. Feeling very positive as well as 'cautiously optimistic'. Thanks for writing this!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I have not disclosed to any of my family members that iam going through this process and i dont have anyone to talk to ..... feeling very nervous .... i told my husband that the changes of the succesful IVF is 0nly 35 % and he said that dont worry we will be in that 35 % :) ... pls do share some stories which are about successful IVF ... cause right now reading the negative outcome is making me very nervous. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same is of us, we are passing the same stage.....

      Delete
    2. all the best for your IVF cycle...

      Delete
  32. Dear Manju
    I just came across ur blog while reading reviews for some good ivf clinic in gurgaon
    I have been married for 7 yrs,had 3 miscarriage.1st in 7 month,baby didn't grew,2nd exactly 3 month n last one in just one month where my beta hcg was not high n pregnancy was termed as blighted ovam.
    We did all tests n nothing came out as a reason for miscarriage.we did keriotyping also if there was any genetic disorder nothing came out.we have protein c n s test done,factor 5,I can't recall u name d test n we did that.
    Now this month I went for fsh lh ,Amh test my Amh is now just .46 which was last year Jan .56 n I got pregnant naturally In December.
    My fsh is 12.5
    Prolactin is within range,thyroid is normal,sugar normal
    I am visiting 3 doctors to find out which one is best.
    But I feel that everyone is interested in making money n our problem remains secondly.
    I am very confused as where to go so that I can get positive results.my age is 38 now.
    The criteria u told I believe exist no where now.we have here fortis n max,miracle
    Not sure which one is good as now I feel hardly any clinic tries for good result.
    Pls suggest which one is good in gurgaon,very confused as it is my last option n if it too fails I will be totally shattered
    VK

    ReplyDelete

Please do write to me! It makes me happy :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...